This Dog...

Oh, where do I start? Well, first things first. This dog..

Belongs to Bill (and Merit and Luke, and someday Me, by default)
Is named Snowball (oh, the irony)
Is 2.5 years old
Weighs about 75 pounds
IS CRAZY!!!!!!

And did I mention she's a complete NUTBALL! It's not just that she's typically Labrador-hyper (she is) or that she's anxious (definitely is) or that she's a thief in the kitchen, dining room, wherever there is food. She has been known to steal and consume entire tomatoes, potatoes, hatch chilis, paper towels, you name it--off the counter, out of the sink, in the trash.

But her culinary preferences aside, this dog's biggest problem is her urgent, extreme, and unsurpassed need for attention. She doesn't just want to be patted nicely on the head, she wants to be full-on-in-your-lap, on her back, legs in the air. Making direct eye contact is very bad---it's her open invitation. Her MO is to try to get on top of you, with her back, wriggling around, nudging you with her wet nose. I often joke with Bill that she's not just trying to be loved by you, she's trying to become one with you...and that really in her mind, she wants to BECOME YOU!!!!! That's the only thing that can explain her ceaseless attempts to rub her back all over your entire body and nudge her nose anywhere it will go.

The topper is when she tried to hump my dog, Cloud. Any of you who know how squeamish Cloud is about dogs/people/inanimate objects near her back/behind know that this was indeed a Very Bad Idea on Snowball's part.

Actually as crazy as she makes me, I do feel sorry for the poor thing. During his separation (when he was not living with her) Snowball did not get much attention, and in fact she was left alone at an empty house with minimal food and water checks for what we can only guess is weeks. She was physically malnourished and most assuredly attention-starved. No wonder she's anxious!

She is in desperate need of learning some manners. Unfortunately she's a lot smarter than Cloud ever was, and Cloud is so bonded to me that her separation anxiety if nothing else makes her obey and be a good dog. Snowball couldn't care less if I think she is good or not. Sigh.